I decided that I would take a soak in the hot tub, to try to help me relax. It was a gorgeous, full harvest moon. The stars were shining and there was a nice chill in the air, a sign of fall making its way to our little area. My house was quiet. Everyone was inside, sound asleep.
I made my way outside at about midnight, all alone. I was in the hot tub praying that God would give me grace for each moment ahead. I was lamenting about some things and wishing I had handled them better, and prayed that I could show people the Love of Christ and the grace and mercy that He has given me. I prayed earnestly for strength through Him, and thanked him for the blessings and things He had done through the week. I knew he was there, I had seen Him in so many ways throughout the week, but I was feeling empty and discouraged. I was feeling like I didn't measure up and I was worrying too much about what was ahead of me instead of taking things moment by moment.
As I prayed, I put my head back to rest and looked up at the gorgeous sky. Just then, I saw a shooting star sail across the sky. My heart leapt, and I felt like He was showing me that He was faithful. Being the type of person that always doubts myself, or what I think I see. I wondered if that was for me. I asked Him to show me another sign that He was there with me through every step, every cry, every up and down. In the next few moments, I saw two shooting stars. I'm not a girl that is into the "signs and wonders" movement. But I am a girl that tries to listen for the voice of God in my life and to pray that He shows himself strongly to me.
I guess I was feeling pretty discouraged. THREE times I saw shooting stars. And yet still, I could only think, "Lord was that really for me? I mean, I don't know that I saw what I saw. I'm in the hot tub, I am absolutely exhausted, I don't have my glasses on. Please show me one more vibrant shooting star that I cannot deny." Yup, I guess I'm a crazy woman.
Right then, I heard the Lord speak to me in such a strong and audible way in my heart. "I showed you that I'm here. You are loved and you are forgiven and I will give you that grace that you need. But remember, I am the MAKER of the stars. The stars themselves were breathed into existence by me, and that is what you need to remember. I have you, I have your situation, I know your heart and I know the cries of it. Trust me and just keep looking up. I am here."
People can say they hear the voice of God. Is it an audible shout from the heavens? No! But in your deepest longing and in the quieting of your mind and your heart, if you listen, He will speak to you. I know that to be true, but sometimes I need to be given a little reminder.
Whatever you are going through today, know that He sees and knows it all. He is there ~ He knows what you need, so seek Him and trust Him and have no doubts in His love and mercy and grace.
"Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually."
The beautiful Harvest Moon the other night.
Photo taken by my daughter.
In His Love ~ Kim